Waiting for his Lady

He's been waiting for his lady,
He's sitting nigh beside the sea
Her blue eyes, sweet perfume,
and the affection he wants to feel
With memories of their love affair,
the sweet nothings that they've shared
His mind is in a state of glee,
and the boy he's waiting by the sea
In that old place where they used to meet,
by the tall green palm tree discrete

He inscribes in sand his amour's name,
in a lettering that's not always same
Gently the sea washes it away, and he writes yet again
he knows the hours that've passed, aren't going in vain
She must be on her way to that place,
picking up flowers or tying them a lace

Her favorite sweets he has got today,
a romantic tune he's humming by the bay
His old six-stringer guitar lies by his side,
today he's learnt two riffs and a slide
He's brought it to sing her a blues song,
a song of his love for her golden hair so long
Of her blue eyes, and graceful moves,
her silken clothes and their lovely hues

Butterflies in his pockets, an old cap for the sunny day,
and that suit he'd inherited after grandpa went away
"Fame and fortune" she says, "are things sublime."
"What matters is I'm yours and you mine"

'She must be on her way' he thinks,
with a twinkle in his eyes each time he blinks
He thinks of what to her he'll say,
and how they'll spend that lovely day

He's waiting for his lady, singing songs beside the sea,
and he'll sit all day under that very palm tree
He is waiting for his lady, thinking about her is he,
for them love isn't easy, just like for you and me.
He's going to wait for his love the whole day by the sea,
and soon she'll come to him, and so believes he...

—Abd elAzeez

Kazaam! This one's about Spam!

Abd's Takes
on Spam Emails!

Word under perusal: spam
Pronunciation: 'spam
Function: noun and verb
Meaning: unsolicited usually commercial e-mail sent to a large number of addresses

Well well, that's the formal part of it, and so to speak, the only formal part of it. Yes ladies and gentlemen, there are neither boundaries of formalities, nor the shackles of communication etiquette when it comes to spam. Nothing beats the inventive minds behind each uniquely crafted and (personally?) sent out spam message.

Each day, we receive a large amount of spam in our inboxes; and at times one can almost guess if a message could be spam or not by just looking at the subject line, but then there are cleverly crafted ones as well that don't let us get away so easily.

Soliciting emails from companies selling 'medication', to delirious singles from the same city as you are in, coupled with far away 'relatives' from some unknown desert in southwest africa trying to give us half their wealth, added with some lonely and disparate (that's not a typo :-) housewives waiting for the perfect man who they co-incidentally? think is you, with help from a few exercise evangelists who somehow know you're worried about a weight problem, accompanied with banks and finance companies ready to give you that house loan you can't remember applying for ever, alongwith lottery promotions telling your email won a million dollars just because it had an extra 'edge' in it and stock-brokers who've got the best practical insight into your financial situation, and not to forget the love gurus who claim to know the answer to the eternal question of what women really want from a man (you mean there's more in that list?), clutter millions of inboxes like ours each day.

In all this mindless plethora of genuinely fake emails, one question that arises in my head is "do spammers ever get anything sold?" I mean, with kazillions of spam emails sent out every day, spam tactics should have 'evolved' much faster than uncle Darwin with his bunch of baboons [no offence intended to any monkeys (evolved or under-evolved) please].

Jokes (?) apart, one continues to be amazed at the fact that spammers think we will be able to sieve through all their un-decipherable gibberish and figure out the no-doubt sensible practical and financial advices contained therein.

Imagine, starting off an email with a line like "The window is useful, but accumulates scratches incredibly fast because of the extremely sensitive latex material it is made up of", and then describing stuff that's unmentionable for family blog viewing, and then finally onto the main part of all this painstaking write-up with "CHFR is climbing steady all week. Up over 23% since Monday, investors are enjoying the solid climb. Read CHFR's recent news, and get on it.
China Fruits Corporation
Symbol: CHFR
Price: $0.42".
Yes sir Mr Spammer sir, I definitely see where you are getting at with that.
And there was one email from Wynona Woodsworth (name sound familiar anyone?), with the subject 'RE: did we speak on orkut today?' and before I can get excited about the prospects, I find the email is actually for some William (hmm...), and it seems Wynona is penning down her thoughts on which 'medication' is selling cheapest and how it will help good ol' billy save his taxes. Nice stuff to discuss in Orkut scrapbooks, people.

Sometimes you can almost see a pattern in the methods which spammers have adopted in order to make up that one eye-catching subject line. Seems like there could be very well be a B-school out there churning out spammers in thousands in batches differentiated only on the basis of the methodologies taught in them. Like for example, some spammers these days seem to have adopted the approach of having (arguable) witty one-liners as their email subject, for instance 'best way to get a dog, donate a bone', [yikes!] 'Look no further, eat that toe-nail' [ouch!], 'From the desk of WagMy FatTail' [I swear I want to speak to his man, just so I can pronounce his name on his face once] 'Get your life back, fill that prescription' [whoa! which one?], 'Extra large round juicy sweatshirts' [or was it sweaty juice shirts? nevermind]...

Others still have taken to the business tactic of impress your target with profanity. They churn out email subjects like '@!#@$@ you in ^&$%@!' and 'With stuff like &$%%^&' and '$@#%% $^#% all the way upto the @*&&^' [Oh sorry spammers for umm.. whatever I've done to annoy you that much...] [And yes, I've got word-filters in place on this blog :D].

Recently there's been a spate of emails from people who's deceased relatives had somehow before passing away, told them about contacting me for taking care of their billion dollar fortune for them. [Oh how I wish that were true, I'd buy all those shares from CHFR that's climbing the stocks so well]...

And so spam continues to clutter our inboxes hour after hour, and day after day. And gathering from how the well their industry is doing, it seems that as long as there is email communication on the internet there will be spam.

Come to think of it, with the new era of voice email, and net to phone (and vice-versa) communications coming up in full swing, do we envision spam in visual form too? Could spam ever cross the boundaries of text and cross over to the realms of voice and video? Will spammers now begin recording personalized messages or will they use the silly sounding text-to-speech converters to do their job? And do we think I might ever get to 'hear' from Mr WagMy FatTail? [damn! I'd even considering buying what he has to sell with name sounding like that]

I for one, just cant wait for the next level of spam advertising. Seriously, there has to be intelligent life out there, [no offence O ye existing spammers,] just waiting for the opportune moment to start smart spamming, and when it does, I guess we're in for a hilarious riot! Until then, we'll have to live with those that have no name, but just the power to spam!... in text mode!

—Abd elAzeez
______________________________________________________________________

The copyrighted [mini?] series titled Abd's takes, is a collection of humorous blog posts comprising of completely original but wierd/ obnoxious/ unfathomable/ and seldom-light-hearted tid-bits of humor that are a product of my own twisted mind.

Feel free to use them where-ever you want to, just don't forget to 'quote the author' (in simpler terms, mention me!)
If you don't, then bad things might happen to you; things like forgetting the punch-line when in the middle of an elaborately told joke, or meeting an audience-member who knows the answers to all of your original 'amusing-riddles'.

:-]

A soldier of the coming years...

Do we know how it feels to lose a loved one?
Do we know how it feels when nothing can be done?
Except bury the pain inside, and let the tears subside?
How does it feel when one night's journey seems the longest ride?

They plunged into the war, to protect their village, their dignity
Rode away into the desert, to face their deadliest enemy
Had to save their women, the adversaries were taking away,
And the children who's fathers they'd executed the other day

They rode on horses as fast as they could,
Laying a trap for the foes who were taking the loot
Attacked them with their best, with everything they had
With their swords, their rifles, on horsebacks, and white robe clad

Not the perfect match, against the enemy's machine gun
Still they fought from all sides, attacking as one
The adversaries they too were very well-prepared
All arms and ammunition they promptly bared

Our heroes fought bravely, driven by just one goal
To save the captive prisoners from perishing into a dark hole
With their war cry out loud, they attacked
Like mad men, they tore upon the enemy's pack
A bloody battle between them ensued
In that desert part, the one seclude

By the Grace of the Lord, they then overcame
The foes, they were all now a campaign tame

Then they returned back to the village in victory
Everyone rejoiced as the horse-riders returned in glory
People of each household rushed to welcome their men,
while others thanked HIM for the safety of their women

There were drums beating a victory beat everywhere,
The heroes were returning, there was glory in the air
With bated breath the womenfolk awaited their men
And seeing them, they ran to welcome and to hug them then

The children too, their tiny lips and their tender hands,
Praying for their fathers' safe return from the desert sands
And when each came back, his children rejoiced
The wife was thankful, her eyes were moist

All prayers seemed answered that day, but not little Ali's
His mother, she then began dreading what it is
At last his father's white horse it returned
But atop it, was no white-clad figure to be discerned

Only one horse returned empty that hot afternoon
And the little boy just couldn't figure out why
Although two dry monsoons have passed without a boon
He stil can't understand what made mamma back then cry

His father he thinks, is still somewhere far away
Fighting with the enemy, or gathering lambs gone astray
His mother has now learnt to hide her tears
Since now he is to become the soldier of the coming years...

—Abd elAzeez

Believe

Hey friend, hey friend… Do you know;
That you shall reap every seed that you sow?
Hey friend, hey friend, don’t you go
Don’t you go to that place where there’s evil by the brow

How I wish I was, in the land of the good
Where no one ever killed another for matters of food
And I’d never cheat my brother, my kin?
Just because I couldn’t fight the temptation of sin

When the clouds are out, and the Sun’s gone
Do not be sad, and be not forlorn
Forget not that each one of us is bound to die
Those who passed away, didn’t even have the time to say bye
Do not feel sorry for your state, you do not have to be
Like The king he sang, “I am the way the Good Lord made me”

Hey friend, hey friend, lead a life that’s humble
Do not ever on the path of righteousness, stumble
Hey friend, hey friend, come hold my hand
And if God wills, then by you in this life, I shall forever stand

Open up your heart, open up your soul
The truth is out there taking a stroll
Just waiting to be seen, it’s light don’t you leave
The signs are there for those who believe
Never ever will you regret this new life,
It’ll take away all the worry; it’ll take away all the strife
There’s something for everyone out there
And the joy you will find it boundless to bear

Hey friend, hey friend, let me advise
Let me show you this new premise
Hey friend, hey friend, don’t cry if life’s falling over
Hey friend, hey friend, don’t cry if it’s getting over

Remember these words in the summer
In the winters, the spring, and when the waters glimmer
Someday each one of us will get our worth
Oh yes, its true and t’was written long before our birth

Together we will live through this night
We shall emerge victorious from this unending fight
The darkness will soon be gone,
Soon there will be a new morning to call our own
Together we will survive this holocaust
And the good times are arriving fast
Oh yes the good times are arriving fast

Take the rhythm of the singing spring bird
Let your voice in the new morning be heard
Regret and repent on yesterday’s sins
And move steadily towards the heavens

Hey friend, hey friend, this life will soon end
Yes, this life will soon end, but there’s a better one just round the bend

There’ll be a better one only if in this one, you’ve been good
This is a test, yes a test to see if you’re content or do you brood
With the state that you’ve been put in now
Just remember all you have to do is to see, hear and know

Open up your heart, open up your soul
The truth is out here taking a stroll
Just waiting to be seen, it’s sight don’t you leave
The signs are there for those who believe

Hey friend, hey friend, this life will soon end
This life will soon end, but there’s a better one just round the bend
Hey friend, hey friend, fear not, farewell
And if God wills, then in heaven you will forever dwell…

—Abd elAzeez

A feeling of pensiveness

These days, I see my thoughts seething
Thinking of the time when it'll all be over
When my heart, it shall eternally stop beating
On my face will be the expression real sober

I'll be six feet under, then everyone will walk away
And there it won't matter anymore if its night or day
I can't stop the notion that keeps returning
Will I be in a safe place or will it be burning?

—Abd elAzeez

Fathom this...

.
Patient : Doc I can't sleep at nights, I guess I've got what they call Amnesia

Doctor : Umm... I think it is Insomnia you mean?

Patient: Nope! Amnesia it is. I sometimes forget to sleep.
.

—Abd elAzeez

The Aficionado

Alone he sits with his face to the wind
His eyes on the horizon, his mind in a bend
Sniffing the air, looking for her scent
The woman, her charm, the affection he's just felt

Listening to steam engines, they're blowing a horn
Here sits the dude, a little sad a little forlorn
Utterly desolate? truly miserable? you think he is?
Or is he so just because away from him she is?

Back when he met her, a time in the recent past
Got awed by her dignity, he loved the woman so chaste
He thought of his amour, through night and through day
If she had been a doctor, he could keep all the apples at bay
Thankfully she's not, and he still loves the apple pie
And does he thank his luck for that, my oh, oh my!

Says he, "Keep smiling, and today's sadness do not portray
For tomorrow will surely bring out another day"
And so he retires to bed, within his heart a small prayer
that says, "Let the LORD guide us, and let HIM be our story sayer"

Some rhymes keep getting funny
And in poetry there is not much money
Learn to love each other, let it grow everyday
And there's absolutely no need to keep ANY fruits away!

So sleeps he the protagonist of this tale
The two decades plus a few years young, the Indian male
The night sky's slowly fading away, the earth hast turned
GOD's in his heaven, and all's well with HIS world

—Abd elAzeez

:-)

Pseudocode is code to demonstrate a concept, not designed to be run. Like certain Microsoft software.

—Robert's Perl Tutorial

As the vagabond sings...

Walking silently on the highway

thinking of nothing but how time flew away
remembering all the good times we had
i never knew why things would stop being glad

Its a long long walk here and i'm alone
with emptiness all around and inside me
how can i ever live now when all is gone
why does it always have to be so...

And now the times seem to change
why is everything looking so strange
but has the pain gone away
and will life ever be the same...

Seems to me it never might,
looks so, but ain't such a big fight
why am i still looking for answers
why is this world so cruel

So i call out to you my old friend
and i say 'ahoy there, will you help?
i'm a lonely vagabond on a road with no end
with no one to call my own. O please help

This wicked cruel place is not what i desire
I need you to save me from the fire...
The fire, o yeah the fire
Which burns all that is alive
And scars all that isn't

The fire divides, & then burns all together
as if hunting the people now running helter skelter
The very people who started it,
who fueled it, who raised it
with their own men & women,calling them names
Just looking for reasons to throw them into the flames

And now everywhere they all run,
But there's no respite under the burning hot sun
In some time it is all over
With the scorched earth looking for cover
And darkness decends...

Walking silently on the highway
thinking of nothing but how time flew away
remembering all the good times we had
i never knew why things would stop being glad

Its a long long walk here and i'm alone
with emptiness all around and inside me
how can i ever live now when all is gone
why does it always have to be me...

—Abd elAzeez

Weblog Hues

Just yesterday I found this page on BlogThings.com, which boasts of a quiz that judges your personality and accordingly tells you what color theme (they think) would suit your blog or live internet journal.

A small set of multiple-choice questions greets one on this page; questions like for instance How would you describe the tone of your blog? and the likes. Check out the quiz at here, and do post your results as comments for this article, if you get the time that is...

Oh yes, by the way, the quiz results said my blog color should have been purple.

And I find it all so amusing...

Well yesterday could have been one of those laid-back Saturdays, with not much to do, laze around at home, catch a book or a movie (or probably a few of both), and then later maybe finish off a few 'pending' tasks from the whole week and prepare for another week of work ahead. To make the point, there was nothing very particular planned for it. But, a couple of close friends of mine had a different plan alltogether (yes they're really close friends as well as a very good couple too). We decided go off to a water-themed park on the outskirts of town to, "beat the summer heat" as we all called it, and so off we went! Well, we did reach the place, asking for directions a lot of times (whoever said men don't ask for directions and women can't read maps, well take that!) and after loong journey lasting about close to an hour on our bikes, under the raging hot sun and the sweltering summer heat. But, all the effort was worth it, since the park turned out to be one Awesome place! One of the best of attractions that it has is called the Wave Pool, which (you guessed right) has tons of waves of water in it. Just loved every bit of it. Now I for one, am immensely in love with the water, be it a pool, or the river flowing closeby my office, or so to speak, even the sea. I can sit beside it (or more likely, in it) for hours and hours without getting bored. The sounds of the flowing water, coupled with its breathtaking, and awe-inspiring power at times, can keep me hooked with no end. Sometimes it even brings out the budding poet inside me. I either compose poetry or play 'deep' songs inside my head. Today Frank Sinatra was on the playlist and one of his most famous tracks 'My Way' got the most attention.

Ironically enough Frank neither composed the song on his own, nor did he himself ever rate it high amongst his other tracks. However for the general public, the song has become sort of iconic with him. In one of his famous chart-topping tracks called 'It's my life', Jon Bon Jovi also makes a strong reference to the song when he says 'Like Frankie said, I did it my way...'.
Now 'My Way' was written by Fred Brott and it was adapted into the English language by Paul Anka. The original version of the song was originally in French, written by Claude François and Gilles Thibaut and titled Comme d'habitude, of which Paul Anka has retained just the melody and re-written the lyrics. The reason for it becoming so 'related' to Frank Sinatra, was solely because it was released in his 1969 album titled 'My Way', and was (and still continues to be) a huge hit.

Many other artists have covered the song in their (in?)imitable styles, the best of which I like is by Elvis Presley in his live-recorded album from February 1973 titled Aloha from Hawaii via Satellite. Speaking of covers, Paul Anka has covered Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" on his 2005 album named Rock Swings. In this version, Anka has made one (subtle?) change to the original lyrics where he sang "Frank said, He did it my way." In other words he meant to say Frank did it Paul's way. The line since then has also become, for many, an anthem of self-reliance.

The lyrics from Paul Anka's original 'My Way' go like this:-

My Way

And now the end is near
So I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
I've traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exception

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
Oh, and more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you know
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fails, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, no not me
I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got
If not himself, then he has not
To say the words he truly feels
And not the words he would reveal
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way